Brandon Phillips

Men – What are you thinking?

Men.

If you are like me you are stubborn, a creature of habit, and have a problem with pride. As I write those words I don’t think there is anything wrong with those characteristics necessarily except they can cause you to be selfish, immovable, and want your own way. These can be barriers in relationships. 

Any good relationship takes time and intentional effort. Relationships that don’t receive the time and attention needed can drift and be unhealthy. I don’t want that in any of my relationships. Especially my marriage. 

What does it take to have a good marriage?

It takes work. And if you are willing follow me for a moment. 

What do you think about your marriage? Where do those thoughts come from? Do they come from societies view on marriage? Do they come from examples you saw in your parents or grandparents? 

Our preconceptions about marriage come from somewhere and they are not always bad. But for some they can be damaging. They can lead you to toxic thoughts about your spouse or what marriage is supposed to be. Even when we don’t mean too. 

Our thoughts have a mind of their own. In fact a lot of the time they are on auto pilot. We don’t know how we got to thinking about the things we think about and even occasionally an inappropriate thought will show up. We didn’t go looking for it and we don’t know how it got there. Our thoughts really can have a mind of their own.  

If you have ever been a victim of this mind roller-coaster I want you to know there is hope. The Bible gives clear instructions and commands to help us win the battle of our thoughts before they run away. 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2

  1. Do not conform to this worlds ways. Your thought patterns ,your words, or your actions. Because it is unclean and unholy.
    1. To conform means to form to a mold, for example following the worlds ways and ideas that are contrary to God’s Word. 
  2. Instead be transformed or changed by renewing your mind with God’s word. As you renew your mind you are stronger and know what to think about things of this world. How to respond to affliction and difficult situations, etc…
  3. When trials or questions come up because you know God’s Word it will be easier to make your stand for faith and the right or good acceptable and perfect, decision.   

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, 

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

  1. We need to remember that we are battling forces we cannot see. 
  2. The influences of this world pull us in every direction but what is right. 
  3. We do have the power in Jesus to stay with the truth. 
  4. So we take captive bad thoughts, and replace them with truth from God’s word. 

Next time you find yourself thinking in the wrong direction. I hope this helps you steer your thoughts in the right direction. I know it helps me!

Love is…

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I cannot help but reflect on the love passage on Valentine’s Day. It is a passage that does say a lot about love. It speaks to the qualities that define love and to the type of character a loving person should have.

In addition to the passage above I wanted to list three things that I have been learning and praying through for myself. I have been reading books, articles, and attending marriage focused events and these points have stood out to me, probably because they are where I need the most work and growth in my life.

Work on the one in the circle.

This one will hit you right between the eyes. If I am honest, I think that my ways are the best ways and that most of the time if there is a problem then it is the “other” person’s fault. This reminds me that I do not have the power to change anyone but myself. I should submit myself to God and allow Him to work in me and show me the areas I need to improve.

work on yourself

Fill your house with gratitude.

Our society is very cynical, and it carries over into our homes. I snap back insensitive comments and hurtful corrections when accidents happen, or something is off. This does not give my home the “warm and fuzzy” feelings that I want. Instead, it breeds negative attitudes and bad behaviors.

I need to be thankful for the people in my house. I am thankful, but I am not good at saying or showing it. I need to speak words of gratitude and positive reinforcement to my kids and spouse. When I do this I begin to see a change in the mood of everyone in my home.

gratitude

Be a servant and cheerleader.

If marriage show me anything it shows me just how selfish I am and how far I have to go. Choosing to be a servant in the home sets an example that others can follow. I also should support and encourage in their passions and gifting. That means practicing with them, listening to them play off key, or looking at their latest creation.

It is amazing the smiles that come from being a servant and cheerleader. The people we choose to serve this way respond with joy and it fills the house! It also just feels good to be living in a home with positive reenforcement, support and encouragement.

MarriageQuotes-2

Intentional

Intentional.

Today I want to come to you with one word. If there is a word that we could live by that would change our lives it would be INTENTIONAL. This word is a change of mindset. Are we going to let life come at us and react to life or are we going to intentional about the things that we allow in our lives.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 ESV

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the privilege with gathering with some of the parents at our church who want to grow in this area of their life. We are not perfect far from it and by our own admission we have a long way to go but We understand that in order to grow we have to be intentional.

We have covered the importance of passing down faith to your family and at what ages children can grasp the concepts of faith. Last night we talked about family devotions.

I want to thank Sean Aland for leading us on June 1st.

For so many of us as parents we feel unqualified or unprepared to lead our families spiritually. But we are reminded in

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 2 Peter 1:3

This includes the ability to lead our family spiritually. We wont always get it right but with all that the world is throwing at our families doing nothing in not an option.

When?

The best thing about family devotions is they are on your schedule. So, if the morning works for your then go for it. If it’s at the dinner table or in the car do it then. It doesn’t matter when just do something.

What?

So many options are available for you and you can choose what works for your family. You would want to start with the bible. A Proverb a day maybe? A simple devotion from the bible app or any daily reader is a great place to start. There are many print and digital options. I will include a few in the video notes.

How long?

You know your family. If it were up to me we would have a full on worship service each time complete with songs and preaching! But I would get a lot of rolling eyes and end up hurting the cause. So we have realized that keeping it short and simple really helps. If you have older kids they can handle a longer discussion. If younger then maybe a verse and a question is all that can be done.

As long as we intentional about getting God’s word in the hearts and minds of our family God will honor that.

Why?

God’s word and family devotion is not a silver bullet for all family problems. But what I have seen when we do family devotions is tension in our home breaking down and we can function as a family could and should.

When God is put first and your kids see that they will model what they see.

Make it priority and know that I am praying for you.

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Mutually Encouraged

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This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Have you ever just needed to be encouraged? I don’t know a single person who is positive all the time. There are times when I wake up and just know that “today is gonna be a good day” I pray “Good morning Lord! Fill me with your spirit and work in and through me today.”

On these days I can make it on the Holy spirit and His word alone.

Then there are days when I pray “good lord it’s morning! I need your spirit to fill me today just so I make it today.”  On these days I NEED other people too. I like how the apostle Paul puts it in many of his epistles or letters to the churches.

11 For I want very much to see you, so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, 12 that is, to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.

Romans 1:12

 

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

 

It is so encouraging to hear other people’s stories of faith. We truly can encourage one another as we talk about what God is doing. So let me ask you a question…

When is the last time you talked about what God is doing in your life with someone else? When is the last time you have been encouraged by or encouraged someone else.

Do you need to find someone today? Make call, send a message, meet up for coffee or lunch. Stay connected to the body and Christ and be encouraged!

God’s Blueprint For Passing Down Faith

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God lays out the blueprint for how we are to excel in faith. He lays out commands, statues and ordinances that we are to learn so we can then pass them on to our families. When we follow God commands and live in holy fear, We have this desire to serve Him and want what he wants. We know that there is a way that we are to live and when we don’t live that way, when we mess up we have a great pain in out heart because we know there is a better way.

So God tells us through his word that we are to love him above all else and that we are to pass on this faith and these words to our children by the means of LIFE. Its says

  • Repeat them to your children
  • Talk about them when you sit in your house
  • When you walk along the road
  • When you lie down
  • When you get up
  • Bind them as symbols
  • Write them on the doorposts of your home.

The only way to carry on a worldview like Christianity is that it has to be all encompassing. We can't pick and choose which parts to believe and which parts of our lives we want to allow it to effect. If we do it 1/2 hearted, our families and others will be able to spot it and think that it is really no that big of a deal to us and ask why should it be to them?

We need to set our schedules in such a way that show our priorities are God first. When we do this consistently our families will pick up on that and follow the examples because there truly is not better way than following God.

What does that look like in our everyday life?

  • Model it
  • Talk About It
  • Pray About it

God help me to be an example to my family. Help me to truly love you will all my heart soul mind and strength.

 

“This is the command—the statutes and ordinances—the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you, so that you may follow them in the land you are about to enter and possess. Do this so that you may fear the Lord your God all the days of your life by keeping all his statutes and commands I am giving you, your son, and your grandson, and so that you may have a long life. Listen, Israel, and be careful to follow them, so that you may prosper and multiply greatly, because the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you a land flowing with milk and honey.

“Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol[b] on your forehead.[c] Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Deuteronomy 6:1-9

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