Uncategorized – Brandon Phillips

Thinking About You

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about me. Not in a narcissistic sense but in a sense of evaluation seeking to understand why I am the way I am. I want to be better for the people around me.

I want to be the kind of person that others want to be around. When I encounter someone I want to be a source of encouragement not a source of discouragement or frustration. The most important person I need to think about it my wife. I need to consider her above all others. How does she see me? What am I giving to her when I finally do get to see her.

Our life with four kids is extremely busy and complicated with work, school, church, and other extras we have been spread thin and have not been able to spend much time together. So I need to make that time count. I need to make sure that she is getting the best me. That’s where this route comes in.

When I choose to think negative about myself because of my failures or bad encounters of the day then she will experience a bad me. It is only normal to take our experiences and process them but sometimes this processing can lead to the voice in our head leaving us down and broken. When we come down and broken we need someone to fix us. And to honest our spouses don’t have the time or emotional energy to fix us. That’s not what love is about.

On the other hand if I choose to not allow the negative experiences or thoughts in my mind to turn on me, then I can be a better version of myself for my spouse. Many of these negative thoughts come from the soundtrack the world is playing on repeat. If we can drown it out and change the sound track we will come out with a different mindset.

That’s why Paul says in Romans 12:2 “do not be conformed to this word, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

We can easily become distracted or conformed to this world by listening to the soundtrack of the world. However when we take the time to renew our minds in God’s word, His voice will drown out the noise of the world.

Love is…

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I cannot help but reflect on the love passage on Valentine’s Day. It is a passage that does say a lot about love. It speaks to the qualities that define love and to the type of character a loving person should have.

In addition to the passage above I wanted to list three things that I have been learning and praying through for myself. I have been reading books, articles, and attending marriage focused events and these points have stood out to me, probably because they are where I need the most work and growth in my life.

Work on the one in the circle.

This one will hit you right between the eyes. If I am honest, I think that my ways are the best ways and that most of the time if there is a problem then it is the “other” person’s fault. This reminds me that I do not have the power to change anyone but myself. I should submit myself to God and allow Him to work in me and show me the areas I need to improve.

Fill your house with gratitude.

Our society is very cynical, and it carries over into our homes. I snap back insensitive comments and hurtful corrections when accidents happen, or something is off. This does not give my home the “warm and fuzzy” feelings that I want. Instead, it breeds negative attitudes and bad behaviors.

I need to be thankful for the people in my house. I am thankful, but I am not good at saying or showing it. I need to speak words of gratitude and positive reinforcement to my kids and spouse. When I do this I begin to see a change in the mood of everyone in my home.

Be a servant and cheerleader.

If marriage show me anything it shows me just how selfish I am and how far I have to go. Choosing to be a servant in the home sets an example that others can follow. I also should support and encourage in their passions and gifting. That means practicing with them, listening to them play off key, or looking at their latest creation.

It is amazing the smiles that come from being a servant and cheerleader. The people we choose to serve this way respond with joy and it fills the house! It also just feels good to be living in a home with positive reenforcement, support and encouragement.

Intentional

Intentional.

Today I want to come to you with one word. If there is a word that we could live by that would change our lives it would be INTENTIONAL. This word is a change of mindset. Are we going to let life come at us and react to life or are we going to intentional about the things that we allow in our lives.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 ESV

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the privilege with gathering with some of the parents at our church who want to grow in this area of their life. We are not perfect far from it and by our own admission we have a long way to go but We understand that in order to grow we have to be intentional.

We have covered the importance of passing down faith to your family and at what ages children can grasp the concepts of faith. Last night we talked about family devotions.

I want to thank Sean Aland for leading us on June 1st.

For so many of us as parents we feel unqualified or unprepared to lead our families spiritually. But we are reminded in

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, 2 Peter 1:3

This includes the ability to lead our family spiritually. We wont always get it right but with all that the world is throwing at our families doing nothing in not an option.

When?

The best thing about family devotions is they are on your schedule. So, if the morning works for your then go for it. If it’s at the dinner table or in the car do it then. It doesn’t matter when just do something.

What?

So many options are available for you and you can choose what works for your family. You would want to start with the bible. A Proverb a day maybe? A simple devotion from the bible app or any daily reader is a great place to start. There are many print and digital options. I will include a few in the video notes.

How long?

You know your family. If it were up to me we would have a full on worship service each time complete with songs and preaching! But I would get a lot of rolling eyes and end up hurting the cause. So we have realized that keeping it short and simple really helps. If you have older kids they can handle a longer discussion. If younger then maybe a verse and a question is all that can be done.

As long as we intentional about getting God’s word in the hearts and minds of our family God will honor that.

Why?

God’s word and family devotion is not a silver bullet for all family problems. But what I have seen when we do family devotions is tension in our home breaking down and we can function as a family could and should.

When God is put first and your kids see that they will model what they see.

Make it priority and know that I am praying for you.

Play Video

Mutually Encouraged

This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Have you ever just needed to be encouraged? I don’t know a single person who is positive all the time. There are times when I wake up and just know that “today is gonna be a good day” I pray “Good morning Lord! Fill me with your spirit and work in and through me today.”

On these days I can make it on the Holy spirit and His word alone.

Then there are days when I pray “good lord it’s morning! I need your spirit to fill me today just so I make it today.” On these days I NEED other people too. I like how the apostle Paul puts it in many of his epistles or letters to the churches.

¹¹For I want very much to see you, so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, ¹²that is, to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.

Romans 1:12

¹¹Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

It is so encouraging to hear other people’s stories of faith. We truly can encourage one another as we talk about what God is doing. So let me ask you a question…

When is the last time you talked about what God is doing in your life with someone else? When is the last time you have been encouraged by or encouraged someone else.

Do you need to find someone today? Make call, send a message, meet up for coffee or lunch. Stay connected to the body and Christ and be encouraged!

God’s Blueprint For Passing Down Faith

God lays out the blueprint for how we are to excel in faith. He lays out commands, statues and ordinances that we are to learn so we can then pass them on to our families. When we follow God commands and live in holy fear, We have this desire to serve Him and want what he wants. We know that there is a way that we are to live and when we don’t live that way, when we mess up we have a great pain in out heart because we know there is a better way.

So God tells us through his word that we are to love him above all else and that we are to pass on this faith and these words to our children by the means of LIFE. Its says

Repeat them to your children
Talk about them when you sit in your house
When you walk along the road
When you lie down
When you get up
Bind them as symbols
Write them on the doorposts of your home.

The only way to carry on a worldview like Christianity is that it has to be all encompassing. We can't pick and choose which parts to believe and which parts of our lives we want to allow it to effect. If we do it 1/2 hearted, our families and others will be able to spot it and think that it is really no that big of a deal to us and ask why should it be to them?

We need to set our schedules in such a way that show our priorities are God first. When we do this consistently our families will pick up on that and follow the examples because there truly is not better way than following God.

What does that look like in our everyday life?

Model it
Talk About It
Pray About it

God help me to be an example to my family. Help me to truly love you will all my heart soul mind and strength.

“This is the command—the statutes and ordinances—the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you, so that you may follow them in the land you are about to enter and possess. ²Do this so that you may fear the Lord your God all the days of your life by keeping all his statutes and commands I am giving you, your son, and your grandson, and so that you may have a long life. ³Listen, Israel, and be careful to follow them, so that you may prosper and multiply greatly, because the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has promised you a land flowing with milk and honey.

⁴“Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] ⁵Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. ⁶These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. ⁷Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol^[b] on your forehead.^[c] ⁹Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Deuteronomy 6:1-9

Prayer Resources

Prayer Resources

I've heard prayer described as one of those things more caught than taught. Our direct line of communication with God is a spiritual discipline that cannot be over looked. It is a weapon of spiritual warfare and needed on a daily. continuous basis.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Historically the first week of May is set aside as the National Week of Prayer, the first Thursday in May being the National Day of Prayer. Over the years I have had the privilege to attend a few special prayer breakfasts with special speakers and programs for this day. When God's people pray something amazing happens.

Prayer gives us access to the peace of God in all circumstances.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

It opens up our hearts with expectation to what God wants to do.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, Ephesians 1:18

Prayer guides

Praying for your son

Praying for your daughter

7 Prayers To Pray Over Your Husband

7 Prayers to Pray Over Your Wife

30 Days of Marriage Prayers

How to Have a Holy Hour

Family Technology Plan

A couple of months ago we hosted a meeting with parents and discussed the issue of parenting teens and technology. Below you will find the presentation with some helpful resources.

Parenting: Technology

Slide 1

Parenting is like a roller coaster. It looks big. You are a little scared but excited to try it out. Then you go on it and you are excited to do it again. Sometimes with all the twists, turns and drops, it feels like life is turned upside down. You don’t want to do it again or anymore but through all the success and failures you keep going.

That pretty much describes how I feel about parenting. I love it and it’s a joy but it also is very difficult, frustrating, and at times overwhelming to the point of wanting to give up!

Then bring in the issue that we live in a digital world. Are kids are growing up as digital natives, where they live a lot of their lives on a digital device. They are using these devices for just about everything.

Because of this it is important to have a plan in place for how to relate to these digital natives.

A couple of months ago we had a seminar where we started a discussion on these issues and I will include the outcomes and resources we compiled below.

Slide 4 What are we talking about?

When we are talking about technology what are we talking about?

Tablets, phones, tv and the content and interactions associated with these devices.

Slide 5 Why talk about it?

I want to be informed and I want to know safeguards I can put in place to protect my kids not only from themselves and their decision but also other dangers lurking in the digital world.

Slide 4 How are we going to do this?

Information

Discussion

Equipping, Tips, & Tools

Slide 7 Information

What are the main benefits?

Social engagement. Learning, connectivity, communication.

What are the main dangers?

Social engagement, learning, connectivity, communication.

Where are they getting ideas to search for things?

Other people, ads, games,

I remember having to get on the phone to talk to my friends. The one attached to the wall! Or losing touch over the summer with school friends. Being connected would have been nice. The reality is that we were able to leave all our problems at the door of school, literally. But now they follow them home and the hallway that’s filled with bullies, and stress is in their pocket. There are benefits to technology and drawbacks.

Slide 8 Discussion

Let’s talk about what technology means to us. I think we need to understand our relationship with tech before we can address our kids relationship with it.

3 words hat describe your own relationship to tech?

Constant, distraction, crutch.

What is a problem you have noticed with tech in your family?

Moods, lack of focus, addiction.

Slide 9 Discussion

How far are you willing to go to take back control?
What has been successful for you?
What limits/boundaries can you put in place? Have you?

Slide 10 What are they using Tech for?

Text/FaceTime
Social media
Video games
Streaming videos
School …lol

Some of our kids are not doing bad things on their tech. Some have mad mistakes. But what boundaries have we set for them. Some encounter content they did not even know existed and it may sound silly but they didn’t know it was wrong until the shame came. They are not going to know the boundaries and limits until we set them or teach them.

Texting and FaceTime are great ways to communicate with friends and can be harmless until they become inappropriate with hurtful comments or racy photos.

Video games such as Fortnite or Roblox can be a lot of fun and your kids may not be looking for trouble but it could find them if they are friends with people they don’t know.

Some ”harmless” videos insert content via ads, comments, or links.

SLIDE 11TikTok, snapchat, Instagram, youtube, whatsapp, kik, askfm, vsco

Slide 12 Next Steps

1.Set boundaries/limits. Use a contract or tech plan.

2.Talk about technology. Find out what they are using.

3.Subscribe to s monitoring/filter service. It may cost but it’s worth it.

4.Talk to others in this community. Ask for help. Share your victories.

Slide 10 Helpful tools

This community/website/email

2.Bark

3.Life 360

4.Screen Time

5.Google

I want to create a community of parents who help each other! If we are honest we all feel like we fail a lot. We need encouragement and suggestions of what has worked in your family.

Bark is a platform that we started using and it allows you to monitor, block, and filter most things on your children’s devices. Tablet, phone, xbox.

Screen Time is Apple’s built in feature that allows you to monitor how long certain apps have been used.

Google is a huge help. We may not agree with the companies political agenda but we can type in anything in the search engine and get info fast.

Helpful Resources

Foundation For Spiritual Growth

Today marks the beginning of a new journey for us. It’s not that we are just starting this journey, you have been on it your entire life as a Christ follower. But what I hope to do as your Young Adult Pastor is come along side and equip and encourage you as an individual believer, as a parent, and as a spouse.

I would like to do a video once or twice a month that will help me fulfill my calling as a pastor, to equip the saints, and if you are a believer that you! As a human we know just how hard relationships are whether that as a husband, a parent, friend, or coworker. So, we will tackle subjects that speak to a variety of issues including marriage, parenting, discipleship, spiritual growth, and daily Christian living.

The most important thing we need to understand on this journey is that it is a journey. None of us have arrived and have a long way to go. As we begin that’s where I want to start with you…

When Jesus called his first followers, he said come follow me and I will make you fishers of men. He didn’t say come follow me and let’s go fishing. He said come follow me and I WILL MAKE YOU fishers of men. We are told in Philippians 2:3For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose.

Once you submit yourself to God By Grace through faith for salvation in Jesus. You are saved but not perfect. As you and others around you know there is still a lot of work to be done. But we can be encouraged from Philippians 1:6 That he who began a good work in us will carry it on to competition. God does his part. Are you willing to do yours?

Again in Philippians is says “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (2:12)

A few Helpful Resources

the Bible App - https://www.bible.com/app

Reading Plans:

Recommended Books

List of Small Groups

Play Video

What are you doing to stretch your spiritual muscles and grow? You may think this is basic but if we don’t have a good foundation we will never grow to become fully devoted followers of Christ. So How does it start?

Time with God
- In his word personally
- In worship corporately
Time with other Christians
- Sharing new truths
- SS/Small Groups etc..
- Telling your story
Time serving Others
- Growing you heart for God and others as you serve

I have attached some resources that you may find useful.

Again this is just a start of what I hope to provide for you as I seek to equip and encourage.

Feel free to leave comments or suggestions for topics you would like to see covered.

Re-Joice – Graciousness

As we continue to talk about Joy I think it's interesting to see that Paul says "let your reasonableness be known to everyone." This speaks to the attitude of rejoicing. Your attitude determines your altitude.

Some translations use gentleness or graciousness. So with the three words we get a good picture of the attitude that comes from someone who is rejoicing. It truly is a state of mind that leads to actions or attitudes in our lives.

Think about the people in your life that are gentle, not that they are wimpy, but that they are able to have self control in how they treat others. These are the people you seek out. You know that they are going to be encouraging and helpful.

The same goes with graciousness. When you encounter someone who is gracious you know that they will extend grace to you, even when you fail or mess up. They seem to be ok with allowing you to be you and not expect you to be perfect.

Finally, reasonableness is something we all need in this world today. With so much of our world going off the deep end and being unreasonable, we just need people who seem to have some sense! When we are reasonable, we are the type of person that can get through life's difficulties without flipping out.

Put all this together and we have someone who can be joyful in all circumstances. When you are the kind of person that is reasonable, gracious, and gentle you will always have a following and be able to give the reason for you joy.

Re-Joice

RE-JOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS

I've been spending some time in Philippians 4 preparing for our Wednesday night Young Adult study. It is such a good passage for this day and time. Paul writes Philippians which is often called the Epistle of Joy from a jail cell. Explain to me how that's possible?

We know the answer is, that it's not humanly possible. It is however possible by the supernatural result of remaining in the Spirit of God. Like Paul says in Philippians 1:9-11 "He prays that these believers in Philippi, are filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ."

Sometimes in life we can get knocked off our rocker. We can end up feeling beat down, tired, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. That's when we need to be reminded to Re-Joice! I know that's not how you spell it but I think it comes across better that way when we say we feel like we have lost our joy and we need to find it again.

Joy is there for us. Not joy in this world or joy in tacos but the true joy that is found in Jesus. The joy that we all desire.

We are RE-Minded so many times in scripture of Satan's plan for us. One that includes "stealing, killing, and destroying our joy(John 10:10). That same verse also tells us that Jesus wants the opposite, he came so we could have life and have it in abundance. That abundance includes a life of JOY.

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your graciousness^[^a^] be known to everyone. The Lord is near. ⁶Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7