Feb 12

Don’t Forget the Girls

girlsAs a male pastor in the ministry we are always told to be careful how you are around the girls/women in your ministry. I have always tried to follow strict rules about the way I interact with girls such as never being alone with them and never giving them a ride home alone. While I will always hold to these rules i do believe i should resound differently to them while in the group. Let me explain.

It is easy for me as a man to relate to boys because I am one. I can go around and say what’s up and give them high-5s or flick them in the ear for example. Boys will even sometimes come up from behind and tackle you! Guys know how it is. We can roughhouse with boys and “bond” in a way we never can or should with girls. Sometimes these relationships produce greater relational connection simply because you can be yourself with them and not worry about the appearance of what it would like if you have such a relationship with a girl.

What am I saying? I am saying while we cannot have the same types of relationships with the girls in our ministry we are still their pastor youth or otherwise. We still should try to have the same types of conversations and show them as much care and concern if not more. Because I am a father of two girls myself I tend to think of all the girls i my ministry as my daughters and want to show the same care and concern as I would my own kids. Especially because I know the way boys think, or at least how I did when  I was a teenager.

We need to have great relationships with the girls in our ministries too. They need to know that they are loved valued and respected for who they are as a child of God and not because of the things the world tells them will find them love. We need to love with the love of Jesus so they will fall in love with Jesus until He matters most above popularity, boyfriends, and cliques.

All I’m saying is try and show your girls that they are loved, valued,and respected as much as you do your guys. Sometimes this takes some help from the female leaders in your group as well but guys, we cannot forget about the girls! Girls will take cues from the men in their life on how they are to behave and as youth pastors we have a unique privilege to speak into the lives of young ladies to tell them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and a daughter of the King! here is a great song about that…

Daughter of the King

I heard this talk from my friends at Download Youth Ministry and it got me started thinking about this topics. Here is the talk…

Mentor Me- Neely McQueen (the file was too big so I could not post it here)- follow this link to the talk.

That’s all for now.

Brandon Phillips